A Random Pile of Junk That I’ll miss

Yes I’ve said it before. I have succeeded at my early male task of multiplying. Such fun it was! But also sombering times are approaching. You see, when I used to live by myself I had a tendancy to collect the most random piles of things, and just leave them there on display. Like, horrible art representing fragments of my imagination.2014_02_14_floorRandom (2) Its funny, becuase I am a neat freak 90% of the time. But that other 10% is right over in the other ditch. I like to collect things that I know will be valuable one day. Take, for example, a collection of still in package dead professional wrestlers. When they die, or are looking sick, I buy action figures. Then when they die, I sell them. Call it a business move, call it profitting off their loss, whatever. My hobbies are mine. Go lick yarn! Actually, funny story. When I was 16 I used to have very weird OCD secret tendancies. One of them would involve vegetable crackers, lotion, and the salt off a winter boot. I’d lick them all, and hate it. OCD is a serious condition people.

All that to say, my office is being turned into the baby room. All my junk has to be gone. I’m ok with it, it will just be sad. I won’t have random piles of generationally awesome randomness like above. Lets take a closer look.2014_02_14_floorRandom (3)This here is a Watchman battery operated Television, circa 1985. I’d always say, “when I go camping I’m just going to stay inside and watch tv on this thing”. But I never went camping, there’s too much dirt, and no power, and people use leaves to wipe their bum. In actuality, I used to steal the power cable for my mom’s hair dryer (becuase really who ever had 6 C sized batteries laying around?) and stay up late and watch Mad TV. Oh the memories of Action Jackson and Stewart.

Besides the TV is a bamboo recorder that my brother got me from the Bahamas in 1995. I can’t remember if it was that trip or another, but he was in a pool with Dolphins swimming around and the male dolphin started attacking him. The trainer made my brother leave the pool becuase “the dolphin thinks you’re a threat to him mating with the female dolphin”. Amazing story. More amazing becuase men in my family are notoriously hairless. This flute represents a sort of dolphin charming whistle to me.

Next is a Marshall Pocket guitar amp. I always wanted a shower radio. I had one briefly in college, but I would spend so much time in the shower listening to jams that eventually the thing go so steamy, slid off the wall, and broke in the tub. So my wife bought me this little amp to use as a speaker when I’m in the bathroom. I mainly use it when I’m shaving my head, otherwise I try to harmonize with the clippers and get aroused.

Then there’s a Casey Jones Ninja Turtles toy circa 1989. I loved the Turtles, and all my toys. My parents sold most of all of them at a garage sale for the price of a Tim’s coffee while I was sleeping. Casey is randomly holding a WWF wrestling belt, I guess circa 1996. That looks like the design of the belt The Rock used to rock when he had his sideburnz and eyebrows.2014_02_14_floorRandom (4)What this? OH! It’s an original instuctional manual for a Commodore 64. You used to be able to slide in your favoute 5 inch floppy discs for ultra portability! My favourite game was this gem named Sammy Lightfoot. Look at that box art! Circus machine! 250px-Sammy_Lightfoot_properOf course then you’d start the game and it’d look like this. Sammy_Lightfoot_-_1983_-_Sierra_On-LineI remember the process of launching games on the C64. It wasn’t as simple as just putting it in and hitting play. Kids these days never knew. My brother would have a list of code we’d have to type to naviagate to the right directory, then we’d have to extract the game then run it. It would take like 20 minutes to launch a game. Why? When your typing average per minute is dependant on your ability to have the ABC’s memorized, that’s a bad vibe.

Beside that C64 stash is my Pebble watch box. It’s a Pebble. I like watches, I like smart watches, I like my Pebble. My nickname for my wife is also Pebble. She’s my small rock. Enough said. Hey look a working copy of Blaster Master for the NES. I never was good at that game, but lets be serious…blaster_master_I don’t even remember where that game came from. I was like 5, and I would trade games with people, and we’d never know who had what, then we just kept them. My parents should’ve taught me how to keep inventory. That would’ve been a good teaching moment. Those games weren’t cheap, most were $79-$99 for far less gameplay than you’d get with a freemium mobile game these days. There’s also a green iron leaning on a 30 pound dumbell, some $10 Tritton headphones and love story between Captain America and Hawkeye and OMG a lint roller with a dead bug on it!

*runs and get’s out macro lens2014_02_14_floorRandom (1)I did regret putting my lens on the lint roller, but that’s a beauty! It looks like it made itself quite a pillow to rest it’s head as it died. I hope that wasn’t lint rolled off one of my hats…I really gotta start vacuuming the corners better…


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